I want this project to be about me. The undiscovered me. I want to make it, and have it help me understand and discover myself. So I think I want to make aspects of it unscripted. I will set out a general plan of what I want to happen, but what happens in between those moments is all me, if I can manage to do. If filming myself doesn't feel natural, or something is blocking my flow, I may have to script it. I also don't want it to be too revealing. This is art for myself most of all. It's private thoughts manifest in a way that people are free to try to interperet, but they may never get the explicit thoughts out of them.
My first idea involves cradling and nurturing objects. My unedited idea involved me in my underwear in a dark room crouching na almost fetal position, holding Leonardo (the green lion featured in my last video) and rocking. I'm not really comfortable with performing or filming a performance in my underwear, so I'll think of something else to wear.
I can make this idea about my anxious holding on of things that I tend to do, in which case it would be cradling mostly toys, or I could make it about my daily rituals, in which case it would mostly involve my journals and objects I use throughout my day. I could make it a combination of the two, but I think the concept could easily get confused if I wasn't choosy about it.
I could cradle and nurture the objects, my time with each painting a picture about my thoughts. Things could be in a pile and all over the place or I could be more neat about it, which isn't how I have my stuff so it wouldn't be natural that way. If I get a reaction from the dust, that might make the work stronger. Or, I can do it with a mask on, and that can also show the toxicity of it. but I don't want this to be misleading, something that makes it seem like the stuff is holding me back. To an extent it does, but I firmly believe but it's also what helps me flourish. Even if it can be hard and even dangerous (I'm very allergic to dust and have severe asthma).
My second idea involves me manipulating modelling clay, trying to make something. Shaping objects that are significant to me... rabbits, horns, bodies, vague reproductions of art objects, toys, etc. A skeleton. Probably anything that cane to mind, because the idea of it is to just see what happens. Trying to find myself. Smoosh them all together in the end? I could display my egg collection with it. The eggs represent potentiality. Would it subtract from the process to see already made things? what colors should I use? mixing colors should be involved.
I had a hard time coming up with a third idea but I thought it could involve me cleaning my room. I don't know where this could actually go, but I've been trying at reorganizing my space for a while. I've been having a hard time cleaning my room because I'm having a hard time letting go of things, and I've been trying to reorganize because I'm not happy with the space. I may be able to illustrate that restless part of myself somehow.
No comments:
Post a Comment