My partner was Helen
I was not happy to do this activity because I don't like looking people in the eye and being highly personal, because I myself have a very fragile spirit. I thought I would break if I was forced to be personal with someone when I wasn't ready.
But I found the activity very easy, and not very personal. If it was with someone I know better, it may have been.
From the very beginning I just focused on her right eye. I noticed that I am very good at keeping still and very good at looking at one place, I suppose because I saw her move a lot, and because my vision very quickly began to deteriorate. At first it was just a white vignette, but eventually my entire vision was blurry and colors were washed out, as if someone had spread slightly opaque Vaseline over the lens of my vision. At first I was just noticing the color and the shape of her eyes. I tried to see if I could learn something deeper about her just by looking at her, but that is very difficult. Free spirit is all I could tell. Beyond that, I tried not to look too hard. Shapes stopped being shapes. And I suppose it was because I wasn't entirely willing to make that connection, but all I felt was an ephemeral suggestion of the soul. Not as solid as I hoped.
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I started off by thinking how names are strange and that the way I wrote my name was ugly, maybe that's just a further reflection of what I think of myself. After I was done writing my name, I just let my pencil go.
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