Performance Statement

I was unable to upload my video to vimeo because it is larger than the 500mb limit. I just have it as a dvd.

Performance Project Statement

                For this performance I set a large sheet of paper on the floor and place two bowls with charcoal powder and water next to it, I then dip my hands into the mixture and punch the paper, I do this until the paper is completely covered. The idea behind this performance is to create an endurance test for myself. The act itself goes against my instinct, the process is very tough on my hands but the greater good (covering the surface of the paper) is more important than my wellbeing. I connect the act of punching to masculinity, making masculinity the negative impact on my hands. Being a “closeted” gay person, I remember creating a separate persona to seem manlier in public. I now wonder how much of this persona has become a permanent aspect of my personality and in that way wonder what aspects I may have lost. I also have noticed that many “closeted” or repressed people often direct anger towards other (gay) people and hold some kind of resentment for them. I wanted to play with this idea for this performance. Through my violent act I attempt to change the paper and in turn change myself and take on the injuries I inflict. I often wonder if it is becoming trivial to speak about being gay when a very large portion of the art world identifies as gay and has for many years but as of yesterday I have heard that in Michigan a law has passed that allows EMS services can now refuse assistance to gay people. I am whole heartedly disgusted by this and am reinvigorated to continue this discussion in my work because clearly we still have much more to talk about. This law now gives people a reason to repress themselves and go back into the closet. People can only react to what others show on the surface and apparently if the “surface” is gay they can essentially be left to die. Hopefully this law is removed promptly, if not hopefully all of the men in Michigan are “masculine” and all the women are “feminine,” because if you act against the prescribed gender norms in Michigan you may find yourself recovering from a car crash at the side of the road.

Granted I understand I'm sensationalizing a bit but I hope that they understand they're creating a deadly opportunity for loop holes.